Clean slate of mind

Every year I like to start with a clean slate. Now everything is behind me.

I try to forget the disasters, the near misses, the disappointments, the might have beans (see what I did there).

I smile fondly at the lucky avoidance, the might have done betters, the dumb luck, the don't even think about its and the this is so wrongs.

I remember warmly and devotedly the planned and cultivated successes and the long term projects finally starting to bare fruit.

I take only experience and leave only memories. It was an interesting year.

I know that went on a bit, but sometimes I'm not always talking about vegetables here.

2011 Kicks off. I feel dumpy and saggy and several yards off the pace after an autumn confined to quarters by the weather. Luckily for me, so does everyone else.

The business of starting over

First, a quick apology. For those of you who care and check in regularly I've been absent for much of the season. This is largely due to PC and unreliable camera issues.

A quick re cap for history's sake. When we last met, our hero was....

By the time I was back on track in October there was very little left to do on the plot and all the fun stuff had finished so I bailed on the remainder of the year. Which as it turns out was just in time really, as the frosts and snows hit the UK in mid November. We had a good four weeks where you could not get a fork in the ground and then in Early December the snows came. We had about a foot of snow all over the plot and it was out of bounds pretty much until new year.

Caught up? Good.


There is still a lot to be done. Having cleaned out the shed last week, this week I have to disinfect all the pots from last year, that will be the first job. Then I'll empty the greenhouse and hose that down with Jeyes Fluid. It's all very dull, boring, cold wet, stinky but highly necessary work.





I know. It will get better.





(pics to follow)

Chicken top trumps would never work

Visitor: What are their names?
Me: Sorry?
Visitor: The Chickens. What are their names?
Me: Chicken. They're all called chicken.
Visitor: Really?
Me: Oh apart from the cockerels. They're called lunch.
Visitor: What?
Me: Lunch.
Visitor: You’ve called all the boy chickens “lunch”. Isn't that confusing?
Me: Not for the chickens. If they did ever say something I imagine it would be in chicken. Not English.

Visitor: So you're planning on eating them?
Me: Not all of them. Just the cockerels.
Visitor: Why only the cockerels?
Me: They don't lay eggs.
Visitor: So if they laid eggs they'd be safe?
Me: No if they laid eggs they’d be hens. The hens are for eggs we don't want to eat them yet.

Visitor: Can I name the chickens?
Me: Knock yourself out.
Visitor: How will everyone know the names I've given to each bird?
Me: Have you thought about making badges?
Visitor: Where would I pin them on?
Me: What about collars or little medallions on a tape?
Visitor: I could put up a notice with a picture of each chicken and his or her name and their characteristics.
Me: Huh. I think you've just invented chicken top trumps.

That Pinter-esque exchange is why we don't have names for our chickens.

Hollyhocks? Not on my watch

So it's been a funny old growing season. With both parents fully retired I've been somewhat relegated to weekend duties. Most of my time is spent weeding, making coffee and running the group of Community Payback workers that help us out with general site works on Sundays. Occasionally I get to play with the chickens.


Despite my initial misgivings about flowers on the plot we seem to have ended up with a few garden areas and I'm not totally adverse to them. Some of the flowers Coryn has chosen are nice enough. The Spurs fan in me hates the colour red but she's managed to get some deep pinks in and I'm too soft to dig them up but I guarantee that they will not make selection next year.


There is also the Hollyhock. If you have never come across this plant before your life is better for it.

This ghastly plant grows six feet tall and has big blousy pink blooms that flower directly off the plant stems. It's horrible chintzy cottage garden fuzz and I have begun a hate campaign against it.

I'm going KGB on this monstrosity. It's an affront to all things smart and slinky.
My plan is old school cold war tactics. Take down and misdirection. First inject it with undiluted Jeyes Fluid in the Autumn and deny all knowledge of a Hollyhock ever being in the plot.

"You are mistaken Mrs Coryn." "We have no records of a Hollyhock with growing privileges in that area."

Later I'll admit to a humour of Hollyhocks in the general area but I'll blame a mysterious, well meaning but misguided member using weed killer on the nearby path for killing the plant.
I know I’m an Evil genius. I am also available for children’s parties.

just about back in the game

This is really just a sign post to all of the other posts that are about to be added.

Problems with PCs and cameras have recently abounded. Throw in a couple of birthdays, a world cup game or two and some chickens and all of a sudden I've got a bit of a backlog.


Well the Camera is back in action.



The PC died and it will not be mourned. Hateful pile of leaky transisters. Fortunately I back up pics and docs ( but not Cds) so I didn't lose anything.



I've managed to knock off a couple of posts for May, June and July at work and these will go up as I can add some pictures.

Yes I said chickens.



Don't forget to scroll down to pick up the missing blogs soon.

Chicken update

So the chicken coup is finally constructed. A few glitches along the way like the door getting in the way of the roof but I'm happy that it is not completely horrible and it should be safe from the local fox and rat community.

(pics to follow)

We've got a few cockerels in the coup at the moment. They are still quite young so it's difficult to be sure. A "girls only" ruling in the Allotment Society bylaws means all those noisy and tasty little fellows will be destined for the pot. The remaining chickens will be left to get on with it. We recon we might get a few more hens in a few weeks time to bolster the numbers. The egg laying will begin in earnest in August from the girls. We hope.

(pics to follow)

Pictures of the coup. (pics to follow)


More pics of our chickens (pics to follow)


You know what? They are really, really dumb. Honestly It takes a special kind of stupid to be a chicken in this coup.


In addition they are beginning to show some very human character traits. They are mean and spiteful and self-serving. They will step over their own Grandmother to get what they want and squawk and fuss if they think they are missing out on anything. Yet for all these character traits I don't hate them. (You reading this Bobbi?)


In time, I think that I may grow completely ambivalent towards these Chickens.



Aaww. They're great. Stupid, but great.

Asparagus update

So here we have the Asparagus fern in all its glory. Those pesky north westerly winds have provided a jaunty angle to my ferns at present.

(pics to follow)
I'm updating now so that you can see how huge these things get.

(pics to follow)

Hand weeding continues a pace. It's boring and difficult but at least it takes a really long time. Last weekend I was in the middle of those ferns it started to drizzle. I didn't realise it was raining until after I'd come back out!

(pics to follow)

It's about time to mulch and feed the plants. By the time they get to this size they have taken a lot of food from the soil. Now is the time to replace that in regular increments throughout the summer. It also keeps weeds down.

(pics to follow)

Just weeding, feeding and waiting now.

(pics to follow)

More mulch required later in the autumn to keep the worst of the cold weather off them.
(pics to follow)

Been 'aving some work done.

We spend a lot of time at the allotment.

I spend every weekend of the spring and autumn at the plot and most weekend s of the summer too. With Coryn & Harry fully retired now there seems to be a lot more going on at the plot and a lot more tidying and organising.

No where is this more obvious than at the bottom of the plot.

(pics to follow)

It stared with the shed. The ground was so uneven and dangerous after we finally rescued the shed from its hundred year slumber...

(pics to follow)
that we had to put down slabs to make it safe. Before you know it the levelled ground in front of the shed was some two feet lower than the rest of the plot, so we bricked it in and it's kind of a sunken patio. It's nice.

(pics to follow)

Then at about the same time the greenhouse came along. Concrete footings and a pathway down one side. All very civilised.

(pics to follow)


Then last year came the herb patch which on the other side of the green house. That has now got a proper pathway too. It's meant to be groovy. (pics to follow)


It's a long story how this happened. Looks nice though right? Sometimes, just sometimes, you have a bricky on your hands and you have to keep him busy for an afternoon. (pics to follow)

Finally Harry dropped down some paving outside the greenhouse. Very tidy. (pics to follow)

So this is where most of the work for both plots goes on so it is sensible to have all this safe clean working area to deal with. It's great. (pics to follow)

But how would you react if I told you that now about one sixth of my plot is now concrete.

The prenials plot

I am very lucky to have one and one half allotment plots.

(Pics to follow)



The half plot contains our fruit trees, the asparagus and the bean frames (as I won't have runner beans and french beans on my plot).



(Pics to follow)

From time to time we grow other catch crops down there too. This yuear we have squirreled away some cauliflowers down on the plot. With a few exceptions the plot runs itself for 30 weeks of the year. Everyting happens at the same time and the same place every year.



(Pics to follow)

No crop rotation and nothing too exotic just berries,
(Pics to follow)

fruit
(Pics to follow)

aspargus
(Pics to follow)




and beans.
(Pics to follow)




With occasional line of something that we could not squeeze on the larger plot.
(Pics to follow)




It's a happy little place. I like it down here.

Slicing and dicing with death.

First up, the first picture of the Engine Room.




Tricked out and full to bursting just like everyone else's this time of year. A snap shot from late April of the happiest place I know that does not have a wine rack.


Among the many wonderful things growing on my plot this time of year I was most pleased to this year's spring crop of pretty, colourful, and let's face it, deadly fungus.

After the last couple of years of wood chip delivery to the site for our pathways we've been getting some pretty weird and wonderful fungus growing on our highways and byways on the plot. Most of the fungus arrives in great eruptions during October after the first cold snap.

So here are the Spring 2010 runners and riders.

This looks flat out scary.
I'm going to call it "The Purple Nasty". It's also red so it will just have to go.


This one looks like it would sooner kill me as look at me.
Currently lurking with a few of his buddies under my raspberry bushes. Lets call this "The Yellow Peril".

This little guy is lurking on my path by the herb patch.
Just from the smell of this one I'll christen is "The Brown Trouser".

This one however looks like it could be quite, quite delicious.
...or because fungus is such a tricksy and deviuos quarry, it could easily be quite, quite killy.

For argument sake let's call it a Morel. A non edible, now covered by a cage, dangerous, and potentially deadly Morel.

So this little lot could make one of my already pretty spectacular omelets in to a dream breakfast...

or they could put me and a chosen breakfast companion in hospital for ten days.


As reckless and easlily led as I can be, even I know not to muck about then it comes to fungus. I'd better get an expert in for these bad boys. I bet my expert takes them all away for further investigation! I would.

Perhaps we could make a field trip out of the expert's visit. I'll let you know how I get on.

Aspargus update

At the beginning of the warmest, dries April I've known for some time the Asparagus started to emerge from under the winter mulch. I carefully cleared all the mulch away and look what I found.

So by late April as the warm dry weather continued most of my Asparagus is already past the eating point so I can stop sitting on my hands and enjoy the wonder of this strange but very delicious early cropping vegetable.

This is the Anniversary of the Asparagus being planted. They were cute little one year old roots when we put them in last year. This year we can take a few stems but what's the point? As Smoky said. "A taste of honey is worse than none at all".

Next year we'll be able to eat loads of this stuff and I'll be sure to post some nice inventive recipes.

This year I just get to water and feed and nurture my crop. It's tantalising.

This all started with a dead lavender plant

The herb patch is now finished it's winter construction and the path is looking smashing. Some of the unsightly blue water barrels that have been lurking at the top of the patch will find a more suitable home where they can earn their keep.

One herb patch casualty of the winter has been the lavender. Sad, but Coryn sprang into action and bought a replacement. Top work Coryn!


The new lavender is outside of the main herb patch so I have more room for cooking herbs. Great.

However, together with the lavender came something else,



and another thing,


and something that she had at home,


this one was a 2for1 deal,


and one I've had this at home for years and it's never really taken off at home so I thought it might do better down here.

Don't let your guard down fellas. The first sign of weakness and you'll have yourselves a cottage garden just like mine. It's my own fault. I got a bit flouncy with the sunflower seeds. In stead of getting Army issue "FLOWERS"Sun, for the use of. I had to get Italian Whites and Dwarf Sprays. Slippery slope.

This is a slippery slope. Slippery slope is not a type of sunflower.

Flipping things should come with a warning. Caution: Sun flowers may turn you into a florist not a vegetable gardner! They are a gateway flower.

Sure I grow a few sunflowers. We keep them for the bees. It's no big deal I can handle it. Those? Oh they're Nestersions. Yes they are flowers but they're edible! They are lovely in salads. Very Sweet. Ah! No. That's a pansy. No you can't eat them. I just think they look pretty!

Now look where I am. Cut flowers up the Waszoo. Which is also rugby tour punishment. Oh, now I'm just over compensating.

My name is Rad and I grow flowers. It would appear.

Chicks Man

We have some keen chicken fanciers in our Society. With their help and the kind donation of a quarter plot from on of the senior members we have a chicken coup.

Our shed is finished. Bits have been begged and acquired from all sources. It cost us about £45 each so far which between six of us is pretty good. Orange. huh! Seemed a bit odd when I first saw it. I quite like it now.

These are our chicks.

Not sure what variety the white one is, but those red heads are the Buff Orpington. We have 15 chickens in all. No boys allowed on the plot as the cockerels will drive the neighbours mental with all their noise.

Two are obviously roosters. However, if any more of these juveniles turn out to be boys, and it's so difficult to tell at this stage, its a piping hot stock pot for them just as the garlic coming into season. Great timing. Coq au Vin is a very rare treat.

I have stupid chickens. More pictures and tales of their monumental stupidity will follow.

'Erbs man!

The bed is really taking off this year.

(pics to follow)
After my tentative but determined start the bed will be fuller and busier this year.

(pics to follow)

More Thyme, more Sage, more Chives and more Parsley. This is the stuff I use all the time.

(pics to follow)

The Lavender bit the icy bullet this year so that's coming out. Don't look.

(pics to follow)

The Tarragon survived the icy blasts from the East this winter much to my surprise and delight. I think I will propagate this one this year.

(pics to follow)

The Rosemary is looking quite chipper following its winter surgery.

(pics to follow)

Some of the space I will use for pots. I've got some coriander hardening off outside. That will stay on buckets as the slugs love this stuff.

(pics to follow)

The mint is one I bought for my pea soup I made for our come dine with me extravaganza. Yes we did a CDWM.


Anyway, The Mint I had was dying and I bought this one in Sainsbury’s and kept this one in the bucket over wintered in the green house. It survived and I hope that it will grow a little faster now that it's in its final position. You have to keep these bucket bound or the mint will just take over every where.

(pics to follow)

Sweet pea Jungle has been started off in route trainers so I'll have my summer fence in position in a couple of weeks.

(pics to follow)

Spring Fever

It's getting hot in here.

Spring Fever: Noun: The overwhelming urge of all gardeners to plant everything they can on any available bit of land at the first sing of spring.

I love this time of the year!

In the greenhouse everything I touch turns green! Doesn't it feel brilliant?

Seed, pot, compost, water. Every one's a winner.

Everything has come up and I'm feeling good.

Salad panted on 1st March is now up and running

The Asparagus has landed. More on that fascinating occurrence later.

The potatoes are chitting and thanks to Harry the earlies (Swift Variety) are already planted and kicking on a pace. I expect broken ground any day now.

Look at my lovely tomato plants!

Sorrel.


Yep Sorrel. French, small, bitter and not well loved, It's the Nicolas Sarkozy of the salad world. I however, perhaps because of my vague French background, love the stuff.

If you get a chance, bung some in your salad mix. It's slower growing than most leaves, and whilst most herbs are very easy to cut sorrel is far more difficult.

It's a wewll known fact that .......... wait for it.

Sorrel seems to be the hardest herb.

Sorry.

Ha! Cower brief mortal! I am the master of some small perenial native UK fruiting plants

I have tamed the wild beast. From this...

...to this.

Strawberries? Not this year. Semi-permeable membrane berries is what I have.

I started digging over the ground and digging up the strawberries last weekend.

I boxed them up. Strawberries can stay bare rooted like this for a couple of weeks this time of year.




Harry finished the job on Friday and prepared the bed and covered it with horticultural membrane. On Sunday we'll cut holes in the membrane and plant through the black carpet. A mulch for the surface keeps the covers on during the March winds and the plants spread out to hold the covers down later on.



I'm looking forward to a bumper crop of fruit all clean and tidy and very little weeding.

Nice.

Weedberries.

The Strawberry patch ( Yes. I have a Strawberry patch) is becoming a pain.

The strawberries were great last year. We had plenty but a bit of a mix up in the replanting has caused a few problems. This tangled web of hands and knees weeding is the result. Believe it or not there are about 40 plants here. I can see six.



The strawberry bed is a fantastic idea but I made a hideous error that has continued to blight my strawberry progress. I forgot to "stale bed" the area that I wanted for the strawberries. So instead of waiting a couple of weeks to prep and tend a bed and methodically remove all weeds over the period of a couple of weeks before planting, I just put everything in the soil and watched helplessly as the weeds strangled my lovely berries.

A plot this size takes about two precious hours to weed. It's all hands and knees work with a small fork. You never get all the weeds and the bed is always rubbish. I tried mulching the bed. All that did was warm up the soil for a massive weed explosion. I had to remove the straw and the weeds. AAAAAARRRGGGHHHH!

This is the way I should grow strawberries. You get very neat and clean fruits, but you know what? You don't get that many berries with this method. A compromise is needed.


I'll think on.

Patience grasshopper.

December.


January.


February.


March Hello little fellas!





Asparagus from seed. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with all this. I have 20 plants ready for harvesting next May.

I'll have to split it up and harden it off and then I can see me turning up to friends houses with this stuff all year. I'll create a rash of asparagus beds in Essex and the surrounding area. Well that's a happy plan.

It will be three years before you can eat this stuff but then you get Asparagus for two whole months for the next 20 years. Fair exchange is no robbery right?

Hubble Bubble Soil and Trouble

Firstly due to the very strict European laws on what actually constitutes a fertilizer for domestic use I'm not sure how much trouble I can get in for even showing you this. So please keep in mind that this is a blog. It is in no way an instruction manual or "how to" post.

I know it's not pipe bombs but you'd be surprised what a lack of a sense of humour some government departments have when it comes to these things. Who knows what list I'm going to end up on for having Pipe Bomb twice in the same paragraph. Aaah! What the heck. Pipe Bomb. Three times is the charm. Right?

Anyway. You may remember that earlier in the year I got excited about planting some comfrey. This lot comes from a small cutting kindly provided by Aunty Val & Uncle Brian some time ago. The plant was reared in the herb patch for a year before being split up and planted around the darker corners of the plot. This year the comfrey has been growing nicely and is at a usable size.

That's the comfrey. Growing on the right and along the back of the picture. Before the plant starts to flower collect up all the leaves and just leave a couple of stems above ground. It looks harsh but this plant is bullet proof. These are in perfect condition for picking.

There are a couple ofways of treating the leaves. You can add them direct to your soil before planting, you can even add them to your compost. However I favour the big bucket method. Place all the leaves in a bucket and cover with water. 40 litres should do the trick. Cover the bucket and keep it away from everything with a nose. Really.

That's the bucket in the left corner of the picture. This is as close as I can get to the bucket during the summer.

Six weeks later you should have a brown smelly sludge in the bottom of the bucket. It will smell quite foul but it will be a unique smell not of decaying vegetable matter or decaying flesh for that matter. Sort of like the way horse manure smells bad but you can tolerate it because you know it's not malevolent.

Anyway pour a litre of this muck into a watering can . Add 10 litres of water to it and start watering. It's great for squashes, cabbages, lettuce, roots and herbs. I've not tried it on potatoes or tomatoes or onions and garlic but all would benefit from comfrey in the soil before planting.

Neither have I tried it in the green house or on our fruit bushes as these all have their own feeding and watering routines which I do not want to mess around with.

Free green fertilizer. The results are magnificent.