Tuesday, 8 September 2009

Weeds provide the greeen shoots of recovery

Don't panic I'm not a halfwitted politician gasping for the oxygen of publicity by claiming that I can see the green shoots of recovery.

It's weeds man. You need weeds? Come see me I've gots acres of them. I pull up bags, trugs and buckets full of the wretched things every visit. Some of them go on the compost heap but most get bagged and taken by car full to the recycling center (formerly known as the tip).

Talk about "where there's muck there's brass." I dig up my weeds and take them to the council recycling centre. A year later the council sell them back to me. I know.

Here's your everyday magic in action.

The council put my weeds in a massive pile with all the other rubbish people don't want. They build the weeds and grass cutting and hedge trimmings into giant mounds of largely organic something or other. They water it, turn it and occasionally have to cover it. All this is done on an industrial scale using reclaimed land and the kind of earth moving equipment that brief mortals like us cannot get their grubby hands on outside of a quarry site or maybe Diggerland.

Diggerland? No? More muck and brass. Here's your link http://www.diggerland.com/ because I can't make this stuff up.

FOCUS!

So the breakdown process that make your hedge into humus (no not the chick pea dip although that would be magical) actually produces enough heat to kill off the most pernicious of weeds and all the spiteful and hostile bacteria too. So there is no need for burning infected plants any more.

I'm not claiming that industrial composting is some sort of divine gift but it is a cracking idea and, whilst it does have a few suspect down sides, it's a step in the right direction.

Here's the kicker. Come spring next year the council will sell me back my own weeds and your hedge clipping and grass cuttings in the form of compost at around £4 a bag which, I should add for reasons of full disclosure, I will happily pay.

The circle of shite! Capitalism at it's most happy and shiny. No casino banking, no quantitative easement, no cash for clunkers, kickstart or stimulus packages, just rubbish turned into something useful and sold on to help perpetuate it's own usefulness.

Oh it's gooood to be back!

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