Friday, 20 August 2010

Hollyhocks? Not on my watch

So it's been a funny old growing season. With both parents fully retired I've been somewhat relegated to weekend duties. Most of my time is spent weeding, making coffee and running the group of Community Payback workers that help us out with general site works on Sundays. Occasionally I get to play with the chickens.

Despite my initial misgivings about flowers on the plot we seem to have ended up with a few garden areas and I'm not totally adverse to them. Some of the flowers Coryn has chosen are nice enough. The Spurs fan in me hates the colour red but she's managed to get some deep pinks in and I'm too soft to dig them up but I guarantee that they will not make selection next year.

There is also the Hollyhock. If you have never come across this plant before your life is better for it.

This ghastly plant grows six feet tall and has big blousy pink blooms that flower directly off the plant stems. It's horrible chintzy cottage garden fuzz and I have begun a hate campaign against it.

I'm going KGB on this monstrosity. It's an affront to all things smart and slinky.
My plan is old school cold war tactics. Take down and misdirection. First inject it with undiluted Jeyes Fluid in the Autumn and deny all knowledge of a Hollyhock ever being in the plot.

"You are mistaken Mrs Coryn." "We have no records of a Hollyhock with growing privileges in that area."

Later I'll admit to a humour of Hollyhocks in the general area but I'll blame a mysterious, well meaning but misguided member using weed killer on the nearby path for killing the plant.
I know I’m an Evil genius. I am also available for children’s parties.

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